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5 Tips to Help Build Self Confidence

Build Self Confidence, Master Social Anxiety

An excellent example of self confidence is that of a newborn baby. Imagine the amount of confidence it takes to leave one world and cross the threshold to another:  small, fragile and naked and yet she or he knows, in most cases, that everything would be okay.

His or her environment alters that same child. Full of confidence, he goes from a child eager to try, to a child filled with doubt, as she gets older.

Can you remember that child? Do you remember ever feeling eager to try something as a child, even if it meant falling off the swing? Whatever happened along the way has shaped your feeling about yourself. The good news is, you can reshape and build self confidence.  These five tips to building your self confidence are just a beginning—something to get you thinking.

1. Tap into your child-like confidence again. It remains dormant, just beneath the mental surface, just waiting for you to scratch it.

Doubt and insecurities didn’t exist there and they don’t have to exist now. Remember, you were born with the self confidence that you need to succeed in this world so don’t let someone take that away.

2. Silence the thoughts that get in the way of self confidence. Keep in mind that you learned how to doubt yourself from someone else. To build self confidence it requires that you stop those thoughts right away.

Replace them with empowering words.  For instance, if you doubt your abilities to do anything, remember that any skill can be learned.

In an interview, Will Smith once said that he knew he was not the best looking person, nor was he the best actor but he could stay on the treadmill longer than anyone.

He was that determined that either his opponent would stop first or Will smith would die trying.

3. Use humor along with determination to build self confidence. Continuing with the example of Will Smith, it is funny that he used the treadmill analogy to demonstrate that he could do anything if he applied himself.

He recognized that there will always be a better actor or a better looking person but what they will never have is his drive and determination to succeed and that makes him unique.

Here’s a very motivational Will Smith Video.

4. Learn your strengths and weakness. Learning what you are good at and what you’re not is equally as important. You will begin to gain confidence in your ability to do more.

If there are areas about yourself that you wish to improve than do it one by one and you will see your self-confidence level rise.  You should never expect to be good at everything. Likewise, everyone is good at something. You just have to take the time to explore yourself.

5. Trust your voice. Take every opportunity to remind yourself that your inner voice and the way you feel matters. Don’t be afraid to speak up for the things that you want in life.

You have just as much right as anyone else to state your opinion. If you hesitate, ask yourself, what gives the next person more right than you to voice their opinion? The only difference is they exert their right and so can you.

Fake it until you make it. To build self confidence, pretend to be confident every moment of the day and eventually you will believe it and then you will know it to be true.

How To Get Over The Fear of Rejection

fear of rejection, master social anxiety

The fear of rejection rules the world for you if you have social anxiety. It is crippling to think that you will be rejected if you ask that girl or guy out and so you don’t. You would rather go home and play video games  or read because it’s safe.  There’s no one in that game or that love novel to reject you. That makes sense.

What if you could get over your fear of rejection, would you at least try? Just think of how your life might be if the fear of what might happen wasn’t looming over  your head. It would be like taking deep breaths all the time rather than short puffs of life.

Hot People Have Low Self Esteem

You might find this hard to believe but most attractive people (or what society deems attractive) have low self esteem. Just like you, he or she feels that they don’t measure up. Are you kidding me!  So the same anxieties and fears of rejection that you are experiencing for no reason, they are experiencing too. It’s just hidden by all those good looks :)

Surely, you’ve seen the person that isn’t all that “attractive” but seems to attract people like a magnet. You know the guy. He is the one sitting across from you with the hottest girl in the restaurant and even you can admit that you are more attractive than he is. So, how did he get her? Chances are, everyone else is thinking the same.

He has confidence and women love a man with confidence. Likewise, men are drawn to women oozing with confidence. There’s a difference between confidence and arrogance.

What’s the Difference?

The fear of rejection, for a person with self confidence, doesn’t have a chance because he or she is comfortable in their own skin and comfortable with their flaws (we ALL have flaws). They understand that they are unique and have a lot to offer because there is no one else in the world like him or her.  Now that is self-confidence!  Can I get an Amen!

Self-confidence or self acceptance is something that you can have too if you give yourself a chance. Remind yourself that you attract those who are worthy of your company. But first, you must feel that you are worthy of your own company.

Confidence is like a scent in the air that most people can’t resist. It is contagious and they want to be around it because they themselves battle with their own.

Going back to the example with the guy with the attractive girl, he is making her feel special and that’s the type of stuff that works. But it starts from within.

Don’t Take it Personally

Rejection is a part of life that can’t always be avoided no matter how charming you are. The key is not to internalize it and take it personally. The rejection doesn’t mean you’re a failure, it simply means you and the other person are not compatible.

You should give yourself credit for having the guts to put yourself out there. The more you challenge yourself and get out of your comfort zone the lower your fear of rejection will be. Your confidence and fearlessness will actually draw more people to you.

It Starts with You

Stop trying to measure up. That doesn’t mean that you should not try to improve yourself. What it means is that you must realize that you start from a state of perfection because you are unique. Now, if there’s something that you would like to change about yourself you have the power to do it.

Changing or making self improvements should only stem from a personal growth not a feeling that somehow you are not good enough.

The fear of rejection can be crippling if you suffer from social anxiety. I’m glad you’re looking for help and trying to improve your life.

For more tips on dealing with rejection and becoming more self confident, I highly recommend you check out the Shyness And Social Anxiety System. It offers a detailed, step-by-step game plan for getting over your fear of rejection and other fears related to social anxiety.

Wish you all the best of luck!


7 Tips to Overcome Shyness


Some of you may not have full blown social anxiety but may feel shy in certain situations. It’s perfectly normal to feel a little apprehensive in social situations but if you feel your shyness is preventing your from making the most of your life than there are solutions for you. Here are 7 tips to help you overcome your shyness.

1) Introduce yourself: This may sound like a no brainer but too many shy people wait around for others to make the first move. Be proactive and approach people. You would be amazed how effective a simple “Hi! My name is (whatever your name is)” can be when meeting new people.

2) Understand that other people are shy too: You are not the only shy person in the world. Most people are just as worried about how others perceive them as you do. If you can approach them and make friendly conversation they will respond positively about 95% of the time.

3) Most people are polite: A lot of shy people fear that people will be rude and try to put them down. However, we live in a civilized society where most people are raised to be polite, and respectful to others. As long as you don’t do anything to cross social norms or personal boundaries most people will be nice and receptive to what you have to say. If they aren’t friendly don’t take it personally they might just be terribly shy too.

4) Ask more, talk less: People love talking about themselves. If you ask questions that engage them they will be glad to talk with you. This is great if your conversation skills aren’t great, because the other person ends up doing most of the talking. If you think you don’t have anything interesting to ask don’t worry. I once had a friend start a conversation with a woman by asking her who her favorite Teletubby was (it was Lala). They ended up dating for a year.

5) Set mini goals. You will not be the life of the party right away. Set small goals first then slowly challenge yourself. At first your goal might be to say hi to a stranger at a party. Then you can challenge yourself and try to make at least two new friends at a social gathering. This will take a bit of time but accomplishing these little goals one at a time will lead to dramatic changes in the long run.

6) List 5 reasons why you’re awesome. This might sound corny, but the reason many of us feel shy is because of a lack of confidence. We feel like everyone is better than us and that that we don’t have anything to offer. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Think about 5 things you have going for yourself that you are proud of and you will feel a lot more confident about yourself. If you can’t think of 5 at least come up with 2 or 3.

7) Join social groups: Have a hobby or passion? Chances are there’s a group for that. Check out a site called meetup. They have tons of groups based around a common interest that you can join. It’s much easier to make friends when you all share something in common. If a group with your interests doesn’t exist you can always create one. No matter how weird you think your hobby is there are people out there who are into it too.

These are just a few tips I can come up with. What are some tips you guys have for overcoming shyness?