Category Archives: Shyness

Dealing With Social Anxiety

dealing with social anxiety

Dealing with social anxiety can seem like an uphill battle for those dealing with it every minute of the day. If you find your heart racing, palms sweaty, face red, dry mouth and trembling in the presence of people, but everything goes back to normal when you are alone, than social anxiety or social phobia may be the cause.

It is important to remind yourself that you are not alone. Millions of people, just like you, find themselves in a state of panic when interacting in society for one reason or another.

You may not even know it but the person sitting next to you right now is having a social anxiety attack because he or she is afraid of what you are thinking about them.  Just imagine that, and all this time you were worried about what he or she was thinking about you.

The fear of what others will perceive of you can be crippling to say the least. However, the good news is you are not weird, strange, bizarre, or odd and you don’t have some incurable disease. There is hope.

Dealing with social anxiety

Everyone, to some degree, experiences anxiety whether it be due to pressure to perform at work, school or speaking in front of an audience. What sets you a part is how it influences your life.

Think about the person who stutters, just imagine the panic that he or she must feel every time a need to speak should arise. And yet millions of people overcome their social anxiety from a stuttering problem everyday and you can learn to overcome your fears of social rejection too.

Facing your Fears Comically

In most cases, when you face your fears you will see that they aren’t as frightening as they seem. For instance, if you are concerned about what others will think of you, give them a good once over. Look at how her shoes turn over or how he has a stain on his shirt. These are the people that you are stressing over but they are no better than you are and in many cases worse off than you.

  • Adding a bit of humor defuses the situation most often. When you learn to laugh at yourself, you don’t put so much weight on how you are being perceived.
  • Practice speaking aloud in the mirror.
  • Replace the frightful and negative chatter with peaceful compliments

You are Perfect

Certainly, you’ve heard the saying, “nobody’s perfect.” Well, that depends on how you look at it. Resolve right now within yourself that you are prefect and that everyone else is perfect too in his or her own right. No one can do the things you do because he or she is not you.

Everyone is perfect and that means you are prefect too. Can you see that? Don’t judge yourself and others and look at how differences makes a person perfect, than everyone wins.

Learn to love the way you do things and appreciate that you may do the same thing as others but just in a different way. That makes you special.

I wish you the best of luck dealing with social anxiety. I know how challenging it can be and I’m glad you’re taking action.



Stop Caring About What Other People Think Of You

what other people think

We live in a world that puts a lot of influence on what other people think. This would make sense if these people were those who mattered in our lives but they don’t. So why do we care so much? It all comes down to fear of failure or a lack of self confidence.

Unless you are psychic you really don’t know what others are thinking and if you were a psychic you would see that most people are thinking the same way—worried about what you and others are thinking about them. It’s absurd and a waste of emotions.

Life is complicated enough without adding unnecessary worries into the mix. Instead of worrying about what other people think, try to focus on what you need to accomplish.

Placing your focus in the places that matters most leave little time to care what someone else is thinking or saying about you.

Be True to Yourself

Do you notice that you are drawn to people that don’t seem to give a sh*t what people think. It is just something so sexy about that person. She or he is really no different than you except they decided being true to himself or herself is more important.

That means if you like to wear plaid and strips together, rock on! Wear it with pride and that is what people will notice.

Take Lady Gaga for instance, how crazy is the way she dresses and her style is off the wall but that’s not what makes her so cool. It’s her attitude that shines through that meat suit or those funky wigs and crazy outfits.

Just imagine what other people think about her. And, guess what, she don’t give a hoot. That’s what draws people to her. She wasn’t always so confident. Lady Gaga used to be self-conscience about how she looked. She was told that she would amount to nothing. Look at her now!

Pick someone else in and around your world that isn’t famous but has a unique personality and style. Somebody who has the courage to go against all those judgmental stares.  At first, you will need the courage to give up caring about what people are thinking then you will find it freeing being true to yourself.

Next, you will notice people complimenting you because people are funny that way.  It will go from snickering to recognizing that you don’t give a sh*t and those snickers will turn into admiration.

He or she will admire and envy your courage to be you because those same snickering people are worried about what other people think too.

It Takes Preparation

Going from someone who agonizes over what people think to someone who don’t care, takes preparation. That prep work is in the area of self-confidence. The more your focus shifts to building confidence rather than what people are thinking the less and less concern you will be with what others are thinking. Practice makes perfect.

The more things that you do to feel better about yourself the easier it will be to step out in your own style.

Best of luck with becoming more self confident!


6 Tips To Overcoming Fear Of Public Speaking

master social anxiety

The fear of public speaking is one of the most common fears in the world. People are more terrified of public speaking than death. This means at a funeral most people would rather be in the coffin than give the eulogy. If you question this fear you will slowly start to realize how irrational it is. I used to be terrified of public speaking and still am to this day.

Even the best public speakers in the world feel anxiety before getting on stage. Fear of public speaking is a natural biologic reaction which never quite goes away. However, it is possible to dramatically reduce the fear of public speaking and make it manageable.

The first time I had to give a speech was in the 7th grade. Being a shy kid, my parents had forced me to enter a public speaking competition to “bring me out of my shell”. When they called my name to get to the stage I was terrified.

The well rehearsed speech I spent hours memorizing went blank. There was no podium to hide my shaking legs. I forgot most of my speech and looked like a complete idiot in front of 200 people. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

After that embarrassing event I started to feel a change. I was angry at myself for being such a coward and decided that I had to get this part of my life handled. I started participating in class more and tried to find as many as many opportunities to do public speaking as possible.

I entered the same public speaking competing again next year and came in 4th. I didn’t win, but I realized that public speaking is a skill set just like playing the piano or chess. It’s something you can learn and become better at through practice.

Since that embarrassing speech completion in the 7th grade I have dramatically reduced my fear of public speaking and gone on to give dozens of speeches throughout the years. One of my biggest speech successes was when I ran for student council president and had to give a speech in front of 2000 people.

I ended up winning by a landslide, and that would never have been possible if I hadn’t learned to improve my public speaking skills. I still feel nervous when going up on stage, but after 30 seconds I begin to enjoy the rush, and feed of the energy of the crowd. There is no better feeling than conquering your fear and giving a brilliant speech.

Mastering this skill set has given me immense confidence and a great sense of accomplishment. Here are some of the tips I followed to overcome the fear of public speaking:

  1. Start small. If the thought of speaking to crowd makes you shutter in fear, it’s ok. Take baby steps. Begin by talking to a small group of close friends or family. If you’re too shy to do that, practice in front of a mirror or into camera?. Challenge yourself to speak to bigger and bigger groups . Try taking a program like Toast Masters. It’s a great program that teaches people how to slowly overcome their fear of public speaking.
  2. Don’t memorize your speech. The anxiety of giving a speech will make you go blank and will have difficulty remembering your speech which will make you even more anxious. This a negative feedback loop. Instead, focus on a 2-3 main points and have an overall understanding of the subject matter.
  3. Understand your topic: You will be a lot more confident if you thoroughly understand your topic. Take time to prepare your points.
  4. Challenge Irrational Beliefs: People are not viscous monsters who want to see you embarrass yourself. Almost everybody has a fear of public speaking so they will understand if you are a bit nervous.
  5. Relax:  You will feel the most anxious the minute before you have to go on stage. Be aware of your nervous thoughts and don’t let them bog you down.
  6. Visualization: I have saved the best for last. Incorporating visualization exercises has dramatically increased my public speaking abilities. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between reality and something you vividly imagine. Take advantage of this principle and mentally rehearse everyday leading up to the speech. Make the visualization as real as possible. Take a few deep breaths, and relax. Imagine the stage, the lights, your heartbeat, etc. Imagine giving your speech in front of everyone.  The more realistic you make your visualization the more powerful the results will be.

Do you have any tips to overcome fear of public speaking? If so please share in the comments section below.