Category Archives: Confidence

5 Tips to Help Build Self Confidence

Build Self Confidence, Master Social Anxiety

An excellent example of self confidence is that of a newborn baby. Imagine the amount of confidence it takes to leave one world and cross the threshold to another:  small, fragile and naked and yet she or he knows, in most cases, that everything would be okay.

His or her environment alters that same child. Full of confidence, he goes from a child eager to try, to a child filled with doubt, as she gets older.

Can you remember that child? Do you remember ever feeling eager to try something as a child, even if it meant falling off the swing? Whatever happened along the way has shaped your feeling about yourself. The good news is, you can reshape and build self confidence.  These five tips to building your self confidence are just a beginning—something to get you thinking.

1. Tap into your child-like confidence again. It remains dormant, just beneath the mental surface, just waiting for you to scratch it.

Doubt and insecurities didn’t exist there and they don’t have to exist now. Remember, you were born with the self confidence that you need to succeed in this world so don’t let someone take that away.

2. Silence the thoughts that get in the way of self confidence. Keep in mind that you learned how to doubt yourself from someone else. To build self confidence it requires that you stop those thoughts right away.

Replace them with empowering words.  For instance, if you doubt your abilities to do anything, remember that any skill can be learned.

In an interview, Will Smith once said that he knew he was not the best looking person, nor was he the best actor but he could stay on the treadmill longer than anyone.

He was that determined that either his opponent would stop first or Will smith would die trying.

3. Use humor along with determination to build self confidence. Continuing with the example of Will Smith, it is funny that he used the treadmill analogy to demonstrate that he could do anything if he applied himself.

He recognized that there will always be a better actor or a better looking person but what they will never have is his drive and determination to succeed and that makes him unique.

Here’s a very motivational Will Smith Video.

4. Learn your strengths and weakness. Learning what you are good at and what you’re not is equally as important. You will begin to gain confidence in your ability to do more.

If there are areas about yourself that you wish to improve than do it one by one and you will see your self-confidence level rise.  You should never expect to be good at everything. Likewise, everyone is good at something. You just have to take the time to explore yourself.

5. Trust your voice. Take every opportunity to remind yourself that your inner voice and the way you feel matters. Don’t be afraid to speak up for the things that you want in life.

You have just as much right as anyone else to state your opinion. If you hesitate, ask yourself, what gives the next person more right than you to voice their opinion? The only difference is they exert their right and so can you.

Fake it until you make it. To build self confidence, pretend to be confident every moment of the day and eventually you will believe it and then you will know it to be true.

Dealing With Social Anxiety

dealing with social anxiety

Dealing with social anxiety can seem like an uphill battle for those dealing with it every minute of the day. If you find your heart racing, palms sweaty, face red, dry mouth and trembling in the presence of people, but everything goes back to normal when you are alone, than social anxiety or social phobia may be the cause.

It is important to remind yourself that you are not alone. Millions of people, just like you, find themselves in a state of panic when interacting in society for one reason or another.

You may not even know it but the person sitting next to you right now is having a social anxiety attack because he or she is afraid of what you are thinking about them.  Just imagine that, and all this time you were worried about what he or she was thinking about you.

The fear of what others will perceive of you can be crippling to say the least. However, the good news is you are not weird, strange, bizarre, or odd and you don’t have some incurable disease. There is hope.

Dealing with social anxiety

Everyone, to some degree, experiences anxiety whether it be due to pressure to perform at work, school or speaking in front of an audience. What sets you a part is how it influences your life.

Think about the person who stutters, just imagine the panic that he or she must feel every time a need to speak should arise. And yet millions of people overcome their social anxiety from a stuttering problem everyday and you can learn to overcome your fears of social rejection too.

Facing your Fears Comically

In most cases, when you face your fears you will see that they aren’t as frightening as they seem. For instance, if you are concerned about what others will think of you, give them a good once over. Look at how her shoes turn over or how he has a stain on his shirt. These are the people that you are stressing over but they are no better than you are and in many cases worse off than you.

  • Adding a bit of humor defuses the situation most often. When you learn to laugh at yourself, you don’t put so much weight on how you are being perceived.
  • Practice speaking aloud in the mirror.
  • Replace the frightful and negative chatter with peaceful compliments

You are Perfect

Certainly, you’ve heard the saying, “nobody’s perfect.” Well, that depends on how you look at it. Resolve right now within yourself that you are prefect and that everyone else is perfect too in his or her own right. No one can do the things you do because he or she is not you.

Everyone is perfect and that means you are prefect too. Can you see that? Don’t judge yourself and others and look at how differences makes a person perfect, than everyone wins.

Learn to love the way you do things and appreciate that you may do the same thing as others but just in a different way. That makes you special.

I wish you the best of luck dealing with social anxiety. I know how challenging it can be and I’m glad you’re taking action.

Arnov

 

How To Get Over The Fear of Rejection

fear of rejection, master social anxiety

The fear of rejection rules the world for you if you have social anxiety. It is crippling to think that you will be rejected if you ask that girl or guy out and so you don’t. You would rather go home and play video games  or read because it’s safe.  There’s no one in that game or that love novel to reject you. That makes sense.

What if you could get over your fear of rejection, would you at least try? Just think of how your life might be if the fear of what might happen wasn’t looming over  your head. It would be like taking deep breaths all the time rather than short puffs of life.

Hot People Have Low Self Esteem

You might find this hard to believe but most attractive people (or what society deems attractive) have low self esteem. Just like you, he or she feels that they don’t measure up. Are you kidding me!  So the same anxieties and fears of rejection that you are experiencing for no reason, they are experiencing too. It’s just hidden by all those good looks :)

Surely, you’ve seen the person that isn’t all that “attractive” but seems to attract people like a magnet. You know the guy. He is the one sitting across from you with the hottest girl in the restaurant and even you can admit that you are more attractive than he is. So, how did he get her? Chances are, everyone else is thinking the same.

He has confidence and women love a man with confidence. Likewise, men are drawn to women oozing with confidence. There’s a difference between confidence and arrogance.

What’s the Difference?

The fear of rejection, for a person with self confidence, doesn’t have a chance because he or she is comfortable in their own skin and comfortable with their flaws (we ALL have flaws). They understand that they are unique and have a lot to offer because there is no one else in the world like him or her.  Now that is self-confidence!  Can I get an Amen!

Self-confidence or self acceptance is something that you can have too if you give yourself a chance. Remind yourself that you attract those who are worthy of your company. But first, you must feel that you are worthy of your own company.

Confidence is like a scent in the air that most people can’t resist. It is contagious and they want to be around it because they themselves battle with their own.

Going back to the example with the guy with the attractive girl, he is making her feel special and that’s the type of stuff that works. But it starts from within.

Don’t Take it Personally

Rejection is a part of life that can’t always be avoided no matter how charming you are. The key is not to internalize it and take it personally. The rejection doesn’t mean you’re a failure, it simply means you and the other person are not compatible.

You should give yourself credit for having the guts to put yourself out there. The more you challenge yourself and get out of your comfort zone the lower your fear of rejection will be. Your confidence and fearlessness will actually draw more people to you.

It Starts with You

Stop trying to measure up. That doesn’t mean that you should not try to improve yourself. What it means is that you must realize that you start from a state of perfection because you are unique. Now, if there’s something that you would like to change about yourself you have the power to do it.

Changing or making self improvements should only stem from a personal growth not a feeling that somehow you are not good enough.

The fear of rejection can be crippling if you suffer from social anxiety. I’m glad you’re looking for help and trying to improve your life.

For more tips on dealing with rejection and becoming more self confident, I highly recommend you check out the Shyness And Social Anxiety System. It offers a detailed, step-by-step game plan for getting over your fear of rejection and other fears related to social anxiety.

Wish you all the best of luck!

Arnov

Stop Caring About What Other People Think Of You

what other people think

We live in a world that puts a lot of influence on what other people think. This would make sense if these people were those who mattered in our lives but they don’t. So why do we care so much? It all comes down to fear of failure or a lack of self confidence.

Unless you are psychic you really don’t know what others are thinking and if you were a psychic you would see that most people are thinking the same way—worried about what you and others are thinking about them. It’s absurd and a waste of emotions.

Life is complicated enough without adding unnecessary worries into the mix. Instead of worrying about what other people think, try to focus on what you need to accomplish.

Placing your focus in the places that matters most leave little time to care what someone else is thinking or saying about you.

Be True to Yourself

Do you notice that you are drawn to people that don’t seem to give a sh*t what people think. It is just something so sexy about that person. She or he is really no different than you except they decided being true to himself or herself is more important.

That means if you like to wear plaid and strips together, rock on! Wear it with pride and that is what people will notice.

Take Lady Gaga for instance, how crazy is the way she dresses and her style is off the wall but that’s not what makes her so cool. It’s her attitude that shines through that meat suit or those funky wigs and crazy outfits.

Just imagine what other people think about her. And, guess what, she don’t give a hoot. That’s what draws people to her. She wasn’t always so confident. Lady Gaga used to be self-conscience about how she looked. She was told that she would amount to nothing. Look at her now!

Pick someone else in and around your world that isn’t famous but has a unique personality and style. Somebody who has the courage to go against all those judgmental stares.  At first, you will need the courage to give up caring about what people are thinking then you will find it freeing being true to yourself.

Next, you will notice people complimenting you because people are funny that way.  It will go from snickering to recognizing that you don’t give a sh*t and those snickers will turn into admiration.

He or she will admire and envy your courage to be you because those same snickering people are worried about what other people think too.

It Takes Preparation

Going from someone who agonizes over what people think to someone who don’t care, takes preparation. That prep work is in the area of self-confidence. The more your focus shifts to building confidence rather than what people are thinking the less and less concern you will be with what others are thinking. Practice makes perfect.

The more things that you do to feel better about yourself the easier it will be to step out in your own style.

Best of luck with becoming more self confident!

Arnov