7 Tips to Overcome Shyness


Some of you may not have full blown social anxiety but may feel shy in certain situations. It’s perfectly normal to feel a little apprehensive in social situations but if you feel your shyness is preventing your from making the most of your life than there are solutions for you. Here are 7 tips to help you overcome your shyness.

1) Introduce yourself: This may sound like a no brainer but too many shy people wait around for others to make the first move. Be proactive and approach people. You would be amazed how effective a simple “Hi! My name is (whatever your name is)” can be when meeting new people.

2) Understand that other people are shy too: You are not the only shy person in the world. Most people are just as worried about how others perceive them as you do. If you can approach them and make friendly conversation they will respond positively about 95% of the time.

3) Most people are polite: A lot of shy people fear that people will be rude and try to put them down. However, we live in a civilized society where most people are raised to be polite, and respectful to others. As long as you don’t do anything to cross social norms or personal boundaries most people will be nice and receptive to what you have to say. If they aren’t friendly don’t take it personally they might just be terribly shy too.

4) Ask more, talk less: People love talking about themselves. If you ask questions that engage them they will be glad to talk with you. This is great if your conversation skills aren’t great, because the other person ends up doing most of the talking. If you think you don’t have anything interesting to ask don’t worry. I once had a friend start a conversation with a woman by asking her who her favorite Teletubby was (it was Lala). They ended up dating for a year.

5) Set mini goals. You will not be the life of the party right away. Set small goals first then slowly challenge yourself. At first your goal might be to say hi to a stranger at a party. Then you can challenge yourself and try to make at least two new friends at a social gathering. This will take a bit of time but accomplishing these little goals one at a time will lead to dramatic changes in the long run.

6) List 5 reasons why you’re awesome. This might sound corny, but the reason many of us feel shy is because of a lack of confidence. We feel like everyone is better than us and that that we don’t have anything to offer. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Think about 5 things you have going for yourself that you are proud of and you will feel a lot more confident about yourself. If you can’t think of 5 at least come up with 2 or 3.

7) Join social groups: Have a hobby or passion? Chances are there’s a group for that. Check out a site called meetup. They have tons of groups based around a common interest that you can join. It’s much easier to make friends when you all share something in common. If a group with your interests doesn’t exist you can always create one. No matter how weird you think your hobby is there are people out there who are into it too.

These are just a few tips I can come up with. What are some tips you guys have for overcoming shyness?

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